Happy Solstice All!

Merry Solstice to all my friends. Nothing gets me in the writing spirit like quiet contemplation on the longest night of the year. Perhaps tomorrow it will be time for a fire in the fireplace and some hot chocolate. Now for some snow...

Damn it!

Just had a great idea for the non-fic graphic novel- storyline and pictures all mapped out in my head. Of course I'm at work so I decided to wait until my break (now) to write it down. All I had to do was remember it for an hour. How hard could that be?

Guess who can't remember the @#$@#$@# idea now? I can't even remember the story, which is the weirdest part! What the hell was it?

I'm going to go insane for the rest of the day until I remember...

Editing the editing process.

Out of desperation, I begged Bridget to come out to dinner with me so I could talk through my frustration at not being able to figure out where to start. This rewrite will be me pretty much rewriting the whole freaking Drunk novel which is a daunting task in many aspects, the least of which I haven't been doing much writing. I blame extreme nerves and laziness which has caused me to freeze up and be able to do anything but stare at the Word file and wish for it to be done. So B and I went out to noodles and she sat and ate while I started talking through the book, voicing my own thoughts on weaknesses and holes and such, with her occasionally interjecting her own opinion. It... was... FABULOUS! Exactly what I needed to get the juices going. So far I haven't had time this week to do more than put down the brainstorming session in a file and add to it, but I think I finally can start! B also was stuck on one of her own projects, and I got to return the favor by letting her bounce ideas off of me until -voila- she also unstuck herself! Tomorrow will be another noodle meetup, but this time with computers. Let's see if I can get the first scene rewritten without having a major panic attack!

NUR!

NURRRRR! That is the sound of my frustration at the editing process. Such.. a.. pain.. in the ass! And no, I'm not even a 1/3rd of the way through. Or a 1/4th for that matter. Probably not even a 1/12th. The problem is I know how much work is ahead of me. Time to address my fear- getting stuck, not completing it, having the original be better than the edit- and just get on with it.

Let's do this, people!

Great Quotes on Rewriting

"Books are not written—they're rewritten."— Michael Crichton

"Good writing is essentially rewriting."— Roald Dahl

"I have never thought of myself as a good writer. . . . But I’m one of the world’s great rewriters."— James Michener

"I have rewritten — often several times — every word I have ever published. My pencils outlast their erasers."— Vladimir Nabokov

"I can’t understand how anyone can write without rewriting everything over and over again."— Leo Tolstoy

NaNoWriMo!

Ahh tis October which means that I'm getting excited for NaNoWriMo again. I have "participated" the last three years, but by participate I mean I have 1) Always done it in October instead of November since I usually get so excited that I start a month early and 2) Never completed the 50k word goal in the set period of time. I think the most I've done is 35k during the NaNoWriMo month. The first part of my novel, Drunk, was completed during NaNoWriMo last year. This year I'm hoping to complete either the story bouncing around in my head or the sequel (or prequel) to Drunk which I've loosely named Haunted House. Yes, my titles are horrid. I've told you this before.

Who else will be participating this year? Have you completed the 50k goal? Do you find the NaNoWriMo "quantity over quality" style to be helpful or distracting? For me, it's been extremely helpful. Get it all out there, get the rough draft of the story done, and you can go back later and make it better. Getting it out is the most important part, I've learned. It shouldn't be that difficult but completing a story seems to be one of the hardest parts of writing for not just myself, but other writers I've spoken to. For me there are three difficult stages of my writing. The first is after that initial bout of explosive writing is complete, when I've been going hellbent on a story and then I hit a hitch, my energy fades, or something distracts me. It's hard to go creatively from 0 to 60 then back to nothing. You push on but you start doubting the story and your writing- is it even worth it to continue on?

The second bump in the road to writing is when your story hits a hitch. It took me a very long time to figure out that when this happens, I need to delete the last few pages (or last few scenes) and start over. Hardest thing for me to do but it always works. I finally learned that with Drunk. The third hitch, and for me so far the hardest, is finishing the goddamn story! 3/4ths of the way through I stop writing. Why is this? Has my storyline hit a hitch? Can I not think up a valid ending? Am I scared to end it and have to start on the editing process. What is it? Sometimes it's one of these things, sometimes it's all, but it's still the hardest part. Finishing my first novel has helped tremendously with this. It may seem strange but now I know I truly CAN DO IT! I can write a goddamn novel and it may not be good but at least it's out of my head and down on (electronic) paper. That feeling of success was one of the best feelings in the world.

But then the editing starts...

Latest Update

Despite the title of my last post, I did *not* get back on track. In fact, I went to Burning Man and got wayyyyy off track in a very glorious fashion. I have done no writing for the past month and a half besides some minor editing here or there, which was not in my game plan but happened anyway.

But Fall is in the air and the writing bug is hitting me again.

My goal for September and October is to do the second rewrite of The Novel aka Drunk. This means a complete reworking of the storyline. Tomorrow I get together with Mz B for some hangouts and adventure-sharing. I doubt any writing will get done but hopefully we can set a day/time for our next writing date. I should have Sundays off soon, which means three(ish) days off which equals more time to write and get together. This will be a very good thing.

The reedit of Drunk will be focused on rewriting the storyline so that it's an actual story and not just a background vehicle that is carrying the characters. I will also be strengthening a few of my male characters. A brainstorming session followed by a string of different graphed out plot lines is in order. I see lots of coffee shops in my future.

I'm hoping to get this done by end-ish of October so that I can participate in NaNoWriMo again. I love getting out new storylines in October and November and then using the rest of the year to finish them and fill them in. This has worked well for me the past three years and will hopefully continue through 2010.

Getting Back on Track

Trying to get back on track with the writing, which has been surprisingly difficult. Time to just sit down and DO IT. My brain has been a thousand other places and not focused right now.

Writing Day!

Writing day with Ms. B today. I love having a Saturday writing date. I also have many stories to share with her, so we'll have some catch up time. Since I got back from the Fire Festival, I have done exactly no writing work. Not sure what I'm waiting for- maybe today. Need to jump back in the saddle and start working again.

My writing challenge pretty much ended as it stood in my last blog. I got a few more words written but not much. Am I disappointed? A little but not terribly. It was a fun challenge and I'll be doing it again. I'm starting back on my temp job next week for a month or two, so I'll have even less time to go out at night which means I'll be home and have no excuses not to sit down and write.

This summer has been awesome for social engagements and not so bad for getting crap done but not so great on writing. If I'm going to complete this project- the whole reason for starting this blog- then I need to get my ass going like now.

Day Four

Indeed, I did not get much done last night but I pushed through the transition part into a section of the story I'm actually interested in. That should make the writing go much smoother... when I have time for it. Tonight I have a ton of things to do to get ready for leaving tomorrow, but I plan on pushing through another two pages.

Last night's total: 17 pages and 11,676 words.

Day Three

Working today so Day Three will be a smaller one. Looking at my numbers, I don't think I'll have this story out by Friday. Ah well, I'm still going to try.

Last night's totals (complete including day one because I'm too lazy to subtract): 15 pages and 10,569 words.

Day Two of Camp Writing Challenge!

I definitely have slowed down today. Part of it is because I'm still at the beginning introduction part, building up tension, character, storyline, yada yada. None of the fun stuff to write! Right now I'm at 10,476 words and 15 pages. I'm going to try to at least get to 17 pages tonight before I go to bed. The next two days I work so it's going to be tough to get it done before I leave on Friday. We shall see, we shall see.

Day 1 of Camp Challenge

Day One went well. I am 11 pages in with 8,134 words. I have also gotten to the point in the story where I need a second document open to keep track of all my characters' names, histories, etc. And for once the storyline is obeying my command as I write it! I don't expect this to last long.

Off to Day Two...

Challenge for myself this week...

I've been giving myself small challenges the last month. Mainly, write at least two sentences per story before you go to bed. It's been working out well, even with wrangling three stories that are not completed. Today's challenge is- that short story you thought up this morning while lounging in bed? Get it out. Now. You leave for Fire Fest on Friday and you can finish it by then.

I don't know why, but even thinking about this is making my heart race. Can I do this? I don't see why not. The only thing holding me back is procrastination, i.e. myself. Therefore, to do this I must get by me. Lovely.

Tonight, B and I are getting together so we can do some writing. I plan on having at least two pages done by then.

Quick thoughts on the Twilight Series

I don't quite understand why people respond in such an extreme way to the Twilight series. They were enjoyable for what they were- a YA series aimed for middle and high school girls. To go into the sexual and gender politics of the books is overthinking it... and would also require an entire analysis of the whole genre.

Here's my response to a friend's very judgmental post about the books (especially considering she had only read *about* the books and never the actual books):

LOL The fourth [book] doesn't involve brutal beatings and rape. If you want to analyze the honeymoon sex scenes, there's actually a bit of a sexually-positive theme (with most likely unintended s/m cultural overtones) of Bella standing up for herself and saying "I don't experience this as pain but pleasure and you're going to have to deal with that".

I think people make a big fuss because these books are popular, otherwise they would care less. They also don't take into account the genre of the books- Young Adult with a leaning towards paranormal romance. It's written for a specific audience- middle school girls. To take it out of that context is a little ridiculous. Sure, I'd love to see the same girls read something more empowering along with these books, but we like what we like. I was reading Clive Barker and Stephen King in jr. high and most of those female characters have a LOT more issues than anything in the Twilight books. My mom hated it and tried to get me to read "better" things. Guess what my reaction was?

Also, most of the books end with Bella doing what she has to to save what she considers her family. Since she's not invincible, extremely fast or extremely strong her way of saving is generally sacrificial. Instead of people reacting to that as a gender-specific thing without taking into account that there are vamps and werewolves in the books that are female and not victims, I think it should be analyzed more as a HUMAN thing."

The Laurell K. Hamilton Syndrome

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/6/2/

This comic highly amuses me while making a great point. Some people like the Anita Blake series, some don't, and then there are those of us who followed the damn series through the first three books filled with rough writing until it finally smoothed out and wasn't painful to read. And then about book 12 or so, something strange happened. Ms. Hamilton started writing only about sex and Anita's feelings and relationships with the many people she was having sex with. Any pretense of a storyline went out the window and we were taken from books with interesting crime-solving storylines to erotica that would make the new Christian Anne Rice blush. (Before Xtianity she probably wouldn't have blushed... probably.) I have nothing against erotica but that wasn't what I was reading the damn Anita Blake series for! I wanted to read about the necromancer investigator who had emotional issues and too many men in her life fighting over her while she tried to keep any of them from touching her. To suddenly go from that to an entire novel blathering about shit I would expect a therapist to say was a letdown that left a bad taste in my mouth.

But I digress...

I like to call what happened to these books The Laurell K. Hamilton Syndrome. Generally, this Syndrome appears at two times in a novel's life. The first is when the book is still a rough draft, much like my novel Drunk. I was so fascinated by the characters writing the story the first time that the actual storyline and suspense became a garnish instead of the full meal. The second time this occurs is when a series is done but for various reasons an author keeps it going. Anita Blake's series should have ended at least five books ago, or at least delayed until she could think of an actual storyline that doesn't involve me having to read about Anita having sex with a new man... again (and when I'm complaining about the level of sex in a book, you know there's an issue). Back in the day I would have been very sad to see it end but now that I've discovered what happens when a storyline continues far past it's prime, I am willing to lose a series rather than have to suffer through this badness ever again.

Getting stuff done!

Last week I took some time off WoW and guess what- I wrote a ton! What a surprise! I'm working solidly on two projects (we'll call them Surrogate and Demon), with Drunk being put to the side while the storyline percolates in my head. Once I have the storyline hammered out, the very long process of rewriting will begin.

B and I met up for coffee on Saturday and writing. Sadly, not much writing happened but we had a good time. Hopefully this week we'll get another chance, but if not then I hope it'll become a once a month date. I love that I have someone to talk to about writing and books I've read that's going through the same process I am right now. We have so much in common when it comes to books and writing but we also differ on so much that we don't stop talking once we start... part of the reason we didn't get any writing done. Next time one of us will have to crack the whip and get us focused.

July Book Releases...

...are out of control! Five books from some of my favorite authors are being released in July. This is CRAZY for me. If I'm lucky, I get two releases a month I want to purchase.

For those who might be curious:

Dark and Stormy Knights- a compilation with Jim Butcher in it.
A Wild Light by Marjorie Liu
Waking the Witch by Kelley Armstrong
Undead and Unfinished by Mary Janice Davidson
Jealousy by Lili St. Crow

The Haps

I've not only neglected my blog but neglected my writing and I can blame one reason- WoW. For those of you who don't know, I'm a big World of Warcraft fan. My husband got me into it last year and I absolutely adore it, even though I've never been much into games or MMOs. Well, when WoW.com said they needed a warlock columnist (which is my main character's class), I got so excited I was frothing with ideas. Then came the actual writing and submission.

I wimped out. I got so stressed out thinking, "Oh gods, what if I'm not GOOD enough to write this column! What if everyone flames me in comments and I'm *that* columnist, the bad one we all mock for not knowing their class!" that I never submitted. I let self doubt get the best of me and now am going to have to wait another six months until the column is available again (if at all). I feel a bit down about this but I'm using it as a learning tool- how do you know you're not good if you don't at least apply? Sure, there was a good chance I wouldn't make the cut, but at least I would have TRIED. And I would have articles to work with for next submission. Instead, I'm going to write the column I wanted to submit for our guildsite (highwaymen.guildlaunch.com), work on more actual columns and not brief helpful little spats I've been putting on there under the Newbie Trading Post, and work up my self-confidence. I missed a great opportunity but next time I won't.

In better news, my friend B and I got together for her editing review of my novel, which currently I'm just referring to as "Drunk". I am so bad at titles. Anyway, the review went well and she clarified a lot of things for me that I am excited to work on to make this an actual novel. First step will be mapping out the storyline so that it's more about the story and less about the characters. Hopefully that will allow me to flesh out a few of the characters that are a little too 2D or narrow in their focus. Make them stronger as actual people than vehicles for the book.

This last week has also been busy in another way- I got a gig bartending! This brings my job total to THREE. Yes three jobs (not including writing), but thankfully all are fairly flexible in schedule. I *could* get in 40 hours a week if I scheduled myself for it, but generally I work 30 to 35 hour if the day time data entry job has work for me. I also am going camping from Thursday to Sunday at SOAK, which is the Burning Man event for Portland. Meetings about that with the group of wonderful ladies I'm going with has also been a time sucker. When I get back it's time to get back on the writing wagon and make myself a schedule!

Very excited about the weekend after- B and I are going to hit a coffee shop and writewritegossipwrite! Hopefully this will become a regular thing for us. I could definitely use the encouragement. Now if we can keep writing and not distract each other with chatter...

I will let the nap pass over me...

Naps are the writing killer. Today my nap extended to three hours after I got home. I would blame Benadryl for this sudden laziness but it's just me.

Sometimes the hardest part of writing is just opening up Word. I go to press the button then a dozen sparkly internet things distract me and suddenly it's two hours later and I haven't even managed to open up a file. Right now, the story I'm working on is open but I haven't started typing on it yet today. Why is it always the first sentence that is the hardest? Once I start, I'm good to go, but that first sentence...

Blarg, off to write that damn first sentence and hopefully many more.

Note to Self for Future Consideration:

A year ago the notation "whiskey song" might have meant something. Tonight, a year later, it means absolutely nothing. And quite a bit of the story is based around it.

*facepalm*

Addendum: After some help from my roommate who listed possible "whiskey" songs from his IPod that might have been played at the bar a year ago, I figured out what song I was referring to. Whiskey Girl by Toby Keith. Terrible song but I heard it quite a few times at a bar with a jukebox (not a country bar but they had that on it). Why the hell did I think "whiskey song" would be enough? Why wouldn't I have put "Whiskey Girl", the actual song title?

Lesson learned.

Rain keeps me writing.

Genres will have to hold off for a while until I'm in the mood to write that blog. Instead, I bring you another post about WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING. The answer? Writing!

Whoot!

The problem is I haven't been doing the writing I should be doing. My post about getting some of the stories in my head out on paper caused me to go for it... by summarizing one of the stories and doing a minor scene write. Sounds good in theory but I've found that when I do, I tend to never come back to it. I've written out the story and now I don't want the work of fleshing it out. Laziness maximized! My best success comes when I start a story from the start to the finish, writing the entire thing out then going back and then later fleshing out certain parts (a sex scene when I wasn't feeling up to it, an instruction scene when my writing was coming off as nagging, etc) I might have written a little too quickly. So now this poor storyline is written out, and I'm ignoring it because I just realized how much work it would take to complete it. But oh look, here's a story over here in this folder that doesn't need all that work...

Bah humbug! Luckily for this poor story, I'm changing my writing habits so this weekend I will start writing the damn thing. Probably will be novella length, but could go short story too. I suppose I'll write it until I feel like I'm done and find out what length it is then.

Ahhh... the mystery!

Note to self

Tomorrow's topic: Genres!

When and where do you like to work?

I'm always curious where people's creative processes happen. For me, the bulk of the story making goes on in my head. Generally this happens right before I fall asleep or after I wake up in the morning. It's one of the reasons I lay around in bed so long- I'm plotting and plotting and plotting, trying to get stories hammered out. It's also where I chew over a plot issue or character quirk when it's holding up a story.

During the process of writing the novel I discovered that when I got hung up on a part of the story and just couldn't seem to work my way past it, it was because it WASN'T WORKING. You'd think this would be obvious, and yet somehow I missed it. Then, one day out of frustration I sat down with the section I was having issues with and cut out the last scene and started rewriting. Voila! Suddenly my story is flowing again!

Another time all my creative juices are flowing? When I'm at work, it's 10am and I'm data entrying away with nothing to occupy my mind, and I'm bouncing out of my seat because of that delicious caramel latte I just consumed. That's the time I want to write most, and since I can't I write it in my head. Good ideas have come from these times, as have pages and pages of writing that were lost since they never got typed out. If I could only do that at home when I'm not working, I'd have more finished pieces.

Rework this, rework that

Looked over the novella last night and ouch, it needs a lot of work. The storyline and characters are solid with fairly easy tweaking to be done, but it's been longer than I thought since I wrote it. I might have to rewrite it, keeping a few lines and tossing the rest. Not exactly a bad thing, but I was hoping to have it ready for editing not a complete reworking. Ah well, such is the life of a writer.

While scanning some of my files last night, I remembered another short story/novella I had started a while back but hadn't finished. It's rough as well but I don't need to completely rewrite it, which makes me happy. I *do* need to finish writing the end, which is already mapped out.

Hurray for more projects! After a month of this I should have a bulky enough stable of writings that I'll begin the process of sending out inquiry letters. But first- more writing and some research!

First Steps

Besides writing writing writing, I'm trying to get my stories organized. I have over 60 stories, mostly incomplete, sitting in my writing file. Some are terrible and will never see the light of day, some are my guilty pleasures I keep coming back to work on, and the rest are a mixture of good, bad and ugly that might be publishable. Maybe. Some day. Today's first step is to organize them in some way besides the terrible file names I used to "describe" them. Seriously- Cage? What the hell is that? There's not even a cage in the damn story!

Currently my focus is on a rough novella, a first draft novel that is being edited by a gracious friend, and a couple of possible short stories. I have another novel in the works, which is what I'm sitting down and working on until I get the first novel back in between editing the novella and short stories. And I've got 3 different story lines in my head right now, fighting it out to see who can hold my attention long enough to get it out in ink. The problem with those story lines are that sometimes they hold up once out of my head and sometimes they don't, so I let them bounce around inside my skull until I'm sure they have enough permanence to last past the first five pages.

It sounds like a lot. It is a lot. I just to need to not let it overwhelm me. The friend who is editing my first novel has already given me some great ideas to rework it, and that was just from talking with her for five minutes. I'm really excited to get back to it, but I'm going to wait until she's done with it. The novella I haven't touched in close to a year so I should have fresh eyes on it. Tomorrow (make that today looking at the time) I'll start the editing on that.

Accountability

My adventure in Beaverton meeting Lili St. Crow, Ilona Andrews and her husband Gordon, and Devon Monk has inspired me. I met a ton of amazing women there who have published and were just regular, every day women with families and kids, doing their writing for various reasons. But all of them had this in common- they made their writing their job. When they had free time they wrote, they wrote every day whether they felt like it or not, and to get published they TRIED. They didn't just sit around expecting it happen. They waded through hundreds of rejection letters until finally they got that one acceptance.

That's what I want to do.

The problem is I'm terrible at actualizing my dreams unless I'm held accountable by other people. By doing a blog announcing what I am doing and why, I have the potential to be accountable to a ton more people- though even if it was just five it would get me going. The writing part isn't the issue (though I definitely want to buckle down and write at least 200 words every day), it's the trying part of getting publishing knowing I have a high degree of failure ahead of me. But that's okay. That's what everyone goes through. This blog would be a way to remind myself of that.